Machine generated contents note: Introduction -- I. The Basics -- 1. There Will Always Be Someone Richer, Taller, Smarter, and Better Looking than You -- 2. Laugh It Up -- 3. Be Your Own Life Coach -- 4. Stop Trying to Keep Up With the Joneses (or the Carters or the Kardashians) -- 5. The Joy of Haggling -- 6. Always Tip, or You're Going to Hell -- 7. How to Step Away from the Lotto Tickets -- 8. Why Have a Baby When You Can Just Get a Nice Potted Plant? -- 9. Why You Should Never "Just" Use Your Credit Cards -- 10. Nobody Likes a Klepto -- 11. WebMD is Not an MD -- 12. Don't Sell Your Organs-You Need Those! -- 13. It's Not Just a Coffee Shop. It's an Experience. -- 14. Living Large in the Cheap Seats -- 15. What's So Funny About Taxes? Nothing. So Let's Just Get This Over With. -- II. Home -- 16. Who Needs a House When You Can Live in Your Honda? -- 17. The Perks of Being a Renter -- 18. Flea Market Chic -- 19. Party Planning Like It's 1929 -- 20. How to Be a Guilt-Free Gourmet While Prepping for the Apocalypse -- 21. The Freeloader's Guide to House Sitting -- III. Travel and Leisure -- 22. Planes, Trains & Acute Nervous Breakdowns -- 23. Couch Potato Today, Gone Tomorrow -- 24. Somebody Knows Somebody Who Lives in Paris -- 25. Wedding Season: Their Dream, Your Nightmare -- 26. How to Fix Your Car with Velcro and Other Tips No Mechanic Will Tell You -- 27. Sneaking into Swimming Pools: A Lesson in Human Rights -- IV: Fashion and Beauty -- 28. Yard Sales are a Girl's Best Friend -- 29. Shampoo, Rinse, Spend a Gazillion Dollars on Highlights -- 30. Why Buying Great Shoes is Smarter than Investing in the Stock Market -- 31. La Mer is La Mer -- 32. The Neiman Marcus Experiment -- 33. Can't Afford a Tailor? A Stapler Works Just Fine -- 34. How to Buy $10 Pressed Juice and Not Feel Like an Asshole -- 35. Share With Your Friends. Especially the Ones with Better Clothes. -- 36. Zen and the Art of Bankruptcy -- 37. How to Turn Your "Beach Bungalow" into a "Fitness Oasis" -- V. Education -- 38. A Modern Warrior's Guide to Grad School -- 39. Screaming at the Sallie Mae Customer Service Person Will Not Make Your Loans Go Away -- 40. So You Want to Major in Philosophy? Don't. -- 41. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Direct Deposit -- VI. Work -- 42. How to Babysit and Not Have a Breakdown -- 43. A Quick Guide to Internships -- 44. You May Be Desperate for Work, but that Doesn't Mean You Should Join a Cult -- 45. Pop Quiz: How to Tell a Real Party from a Pyramid Scheme Party -- VII. Love and Relationships -- 46. Always Value Love over Money -- 47. Toned Abs, Smooth Skin, and Immense Wealth are Fleeting -- 48. Do Not Date Anyone Who Loves Their Bong More than They Love You -- 49. To Sugar Daddy or Not to Sugar Daddy -- 50. Love Conquers All, Except Rent, Bills, and Car Payments.